The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

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Is Happiness Actually Necessary?

(this is raw unedited text, computer transcribed directly from the audio, without voice inflection, pauses etc. Sometimes this results in the text implying the opposite of the intended meaning.)

The Selfish Path to Romance - download chapter one for free at Dr or at

Here's a very quick question I received. Hi Dr. Kenner. Is happiness necessary? All in all, I think peace of mind is a greater good than happiness. Your thoughts? Maxim.

Maxim, I think you have a false alternative there, that peace of mind and happiness are wonderful friends that hold hands with one another. Happiness is what your life the good life is all about. It's an it's an achievement, it's not something that people are born with. It's a state of mind, that comes from making good choices, over your over the course of your life, so that you build good character and the opposite, suffering, is when you make poor choices, and you feel the pain, you feel the guilt, the the envy, the, the self contempt that's not good for you. And if you make yourself into a good person, you build good character, and if you pursue reasonable goals, without stepping on anyone else, and without letting them step on you, then you are going to achieve happiness.

And then what is peace of mind? While it's knowing how to manage your mind? Well, we achieve that when we like who we are, you've made those good choices, you admire yourself, and you're pursuing goals that are consistent with reasonable values. I mean, not drinking, not gambling, not stealing. You have a career you enjoy you work towards that career, you have hobbies and leisure activities that bring you pleasure, you have good friendships you enjoy bringing up your kids, you know how to deal with setbacks. Life involves having setbacks, nothing, even though you can use your mind well, outside people can undermine your your life or a hurricane or something can happen to you. So you, you still will have better peace of mind if you use your mind. Well, here's the key. Knowing how to manage our own minds is not something we're born with. We need to have good guidance, proper guidance, as one person calls it an instruction manual on how to make good choices that will last us longer range. And that instruction manual is your moral code. If you have a rational moral code, you are likely to achieve both peace of mind and your happiness. If you adopt an irrational mystical moral code, you're going to feel confused inside. And typically the more people feel confused, the more they cling to the irrational moral codes. What they need is a moral rational cold I recommend reading The Virtue of Selfishness or Atlas Shrugged, and I'm Dr. Ellean Kenner on the rational basis of happiness.

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Here's an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance the serious romance guidebook by clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kenner and co author Dr. Edwin Locke.

Sally left Wayne occurred Dear John note, Wayne was crushed. He had idolized her. As he thought about it more however, he realized that he had never felt at home with her or loved by her. Behind Sally's good looks, there was no real self. She was a narcissist who use wane to get money and attention, but she never showed a personal interest in him. Clearly, he should have gotten to know her as a real individual. intoxicated by her beauty, he gave her an unlimited benefit of the doubt about everything else. Even when we keenly observe and accurately evaluate a potential partner's behavior. A person may be adept at temporarily camouflaging bad character traits.

You can download chapter one for free by going to and you can buy the book at