The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

Transcript

The Selfish Path to Romance. Download chapter one for free at DrKenner.com, and @amazon.com

Latoya, you're having some difficulty. You have a new baby.

Yes. Ma'am.

How old is the baby?

Just a month, one month old.

And this is your first?

No, ma'am.

How many do you have?

I have two. Well, my first one was with my grandmother.

Oh, your grandmother is taking care of her?

Of him, yes.

Oh, of him. Okay. And do you get to see him at all?

Yes, ma'am, you do. Well, he's been really sick. So I saw family members to help me out with the first one, because he was premature and he was really sick when he was born.

So your grandmother stepped up to the plate and offered to do it.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, and you're calling with what question? What would you like some help with, Latoya?

Mostly, I need help with the anger management, figuring out what should I do with my anger, depression and frustration?

Okay, and you now have a baby at home with you, a one-month-old baby.

Yes.

Are you worried about harming the baby a little?

Yeah.

Tell me what goes through your mind.

Well, most of the times I just get scared a lot, because most of the times, I really don?t know what else to do. When the baby cry.

Is it a boy or a girl?

It?s a boy.

Okay.

And when?

Go ahead.

Oh no, you can go ahead.

Oh. Are you married?

Not yet. We talking about that.

Now, are you living together?

Yes, ma?am.

So is your partner supportive of you? Ma?am, is your boyfriend supportive of you?

Yes, ma?am.

So he helps out with the baby?

Yes, ma?am.

Okay, let me go back to the anger. Anger means that you're feeling that something is not fair. What are you feeling is not fair? Can you hear me?

Latoya?

Yes, ma?am.

Yeah. Are you feeling?you're tearing up? Latoya, if you can hear me, can you just let me know that you can hear me?

Yes, ma?am.

Okay. I want to give you some suggestions. The hospital that you had the baby at, do they have a program for depression in pregnancy at all?

Not that I know.

Some hospitals actually have programs that have follow-up, meaning they'll follow up after you've had the baby, and they have counselors available to help you out. Would you consider talking to?do you go to a doctor, right? For the baby and for yourself?

Could you give them a call either today or tomorrow? It may be too?I don?t know which coast you're calling from, which coast you're on, but when their office is open, could you give them a call and ask for a referral to a counselor that can help you out with the depression, with the stress, with the anger?

Yes, ma?am.

Because here?s the problem: if you suffer in silence, if you don't let anybody know, then what's that going to do to your stress?

Oh, I don?t know.

It?s going to make it much worse. If you suffer in silence?but you're not suffering in silence because you got on the phone and called me, right?

Yes, ma?am.

So you have the ability to reach out. You want to reach out for your sake and for the baby's sake and for your maybe your potential marriage coming up, for your partner?s sake. You want to get the help as soon as possible for yourself.

Yes, ma?am.

And you can do that by calling your doctor and asking for a referral.

Are finances a problem? Is money a problem?

Yes, ma?am.

If money is a problem, then if there is a teaching hospital in your area that trains doctors, you may be able to get in a program, a study that gives you free health care, free counseling. But you would need to call your doctor. You would need to call the hospital that you went to to see if they offer such a program.

Yes, ma?am.

Let me pause for a minute. What are you afraid you'll do to the baby? Is it just hitting the baby? I mean, that's not a ?just,? that?s big.

But I don?t hit my baby.

Wonderful, wonderful. So what is it when you said you may take the anger out?what would we observe? Is your baby safe? That's my question.

Latoya?

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Who's this?

This is Carlton.

Okay, Carlton. Are you?look, are you with Latoya?

Yes, I am.

Yeah. I know she might be feeling a lot of emotion. She?s called me up, asking me what she can do. She?s feeling a lot of anger, she?s feeling stressed, she?s feeling depressed, and she?s feeling frustrated. And I?m recommending to her that she get some counseling locally. And sometimes I don?t know if she?s aware of what resources are available, but especially if she's a new mom?I know she?s had another baby?but if she's a new mom, if she suffers in silence, you know, if the two of you are suffering, that?s not going to help either of you. And she wants?it?s best if she treats herself the way she would treat a best friend, which would be to get some therapy. You know, to get some counseling.

Yep.

And so?

Anger management classes.

Yeah. Well, if you call the hospital where she had the baby, or if you speak to either the baby?s doctor or her doctor, they may have some studies that are available that might not cost you anything, where she could get counseling for free.

Because I think her case manager was saying something about referral sent to the hospital, but I don't know if she did refer you.

Could you help her out and follow up on that? Because if she?s feeling angry, she?s feeling that something?s not fair.

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