The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

Summary

Ever feel like you?re living as two different people? In this episode, we explore personality disorders and the experience of feeling split between identities ? a young, vulnerable self and a darker, more aggressive one.
Join us as we discuss the psychology behind dissociative identity disorder (DID), how trauma shapes identity, and what cognitive and trauma-informed therapies can do to help.

🔹 Learn why the mind creates ?different selves.?
🔹 Discover how therapy can bring integration and healing.
🔹 Understand the emotional and psychological roots of identity fragmentation.

🎧 Perfect for listeners curious about mental health, psychology, and healing from trauma.
personality disorders, dissociative identity disorder, multiple personalities, identity crisis, trauma healing, dual identity, mental health podcast, coping with dissociation, psychology talk, DID awareness



Transcript

The Selfish path to romance. Download chapter one for free at DrKenner.com.

Dear Dr. Kenner, over the last few years, I have begun to realize that I have a personality disorder. Now, a personality disorder is something that?it lasts, it's something that's with you all the time. It's not that I just got depressed, but it?s been with you for a very long time. It usually starts in childhood or young adulthood, and we think of somebody who has a depressive personality or a narcissistic personality.

So continuing on with Jamie?s email: not entirely sure which personality disorder I have. So she?s someone fairly young who's researching. Is it?am I a sociopath? You know, someone who goes out and steals and robs and doesn't feel any remorse and the rest? A narcissist?someone who's a me-only person, has to have the spotlight on them? Well, that?s histrionic too. But she?s looked at several others. They don't seem?quite seem to fit me, but I'm beginning to think that I possibly have something else. I think I may have a dissociative identity disorder.

So I'm going to pause here before we continue. What is a dissociative identity disorder? It's when you think that you have one or two different identities or more?different personality states. Each one, you may feel like you're a woman, you may feel like you're a man, and sometimes the woman is active and sometimes the man is active. This is not very common, as you can understand, and they each have their different ways of thinking about the environment, as if two different people live inside of you. And these seem to take over your behavior at different times, and you?re unable, at times, to recall some personal information?that is, your inability to recall things is just too extensive to be explained by just ?I forgot,? just regular forgetfulness. And of course, it can't be due to being on drugs or alcohol or the rest. And so that?s what she thinks she might have. Just by researching around, she thinks she might have this.

And so let's see what she says: I do not have lapses in memory. I researched dissociative identity disorders and found that many of the symptoms fit. I do not have lapses in memory, but I do have out-of-body experiences fairly often, and I'm aware of two different personalities inside of me.

Now ?out-of-body? aren?t mystical. It's just that your mind kind of seems to float away as if you were coming out of surgery and you don't feel like you're really in your own body because you're still on some medication or something.

She said these two different personalities inside me aren't quite developed enough to have names, but one is a female in her teens?basically what I appear to be physically?and the other is a male sociopath in his mid-20s. They don't have names, but I call them Thing One (the man) and Thing Two (the girl), for clarity.

Thing One?s sociopathic goal is to fit in. So generally, he lets Thing Two control behavior?or pretends to be Thing One, as in, I don't act like a man when Thing Two is in control. That's a little confusing, but you get the idea: she's got two different personalities, a kind of criminal, sociopathic 20-year-old, and a teen?a young woman in her teens?who are living inside her, and these personalities take over.

As for my questions: is it dissociative identity disorder or something else? And I will tell you that I won?t even attempt to diagnose you over the air. I think that would be totally improper given that this is a very serious diagnosis.

Second: What should I do? Are there things I can do without visiting a therapist, since I am uncomfortable talking to my parents about it? Thank you so much. Jamie.

Jamie, the best gift you can give yourself is talking with your parents and getting the proper help. To just try to wing this or try to self-diagnose it?when I said you're young, I don't know whether you're in your early 20s, but obviously you're old enough to be researching and having these ideas. This is not healthy for you, and you don?t want to develop Thing One and Thing Two so that?you're growing this delusional, these different identities in you. You?re smart enough to know that it's not normal. So you haven?t lost contact with reality fully. Before you grow this irrational part of you, get the help.

Maybe some medication would help. Maybe cognitive therapy?thinking skills?would help. Maybe doing trauma work would help to figure out: where are these coming from? Where are these ideas coming from? Maybe getting a thorough medical checkup to make sure it?s not something biological?a tumor or something growing.

Man, if I were in your situation, I would right away tell my parents. Take whatever?you know, they're going to be flustered and confused and thrown off and upset and maybe angry and maybe sad and maybe catastrophizing?who knows? They're going to be upset. You can't control that. Your goal is to get the help.

If you are old enough to get the help independent of your parents?say you're 18 or 20 years old?just go get the help. Go to a clinic near you, or you know, a psychologist. Or you can go to the AcademyOfCT.org on my website?Academy of Cognitive Therapy?ACT.org, and try to find a cognitive therapist in your area. If they don't think they can handle this type of a situation, they will refer you.

But definitely the best gift you can give yourself is not to? I love that you're a thinker. That will help you enormously in therapy. But trying to self-diagnose when you don't have the breadth of knowledge to be able to do it, and you can't do it cookbook-style, and cutting yourself off from the help is not going to be helpful for you or for yourself long-range or for your family.

So let's see if you can do something with Thing One and Thing Two, which is to get yourself?

Back for more Dr. Kenner podcasts, go to DrKenner.com and please listen to this ad.

Here?s an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance, the serious romance guidebook by clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kenner and Dr. Edwin Locke.

There are many deal breakers when it comes to finding a potential soulmate. If you're in this situation, one thing to be on the lookout for and be cautious about are people with significant psychological or mental health problems?for example, severe repression, significant chronic anxiety problems, recurrent depression, substance abuse or gambling problems. Especially if such individuals are not yet under treatment and have no motivation to fix their problems or don't take their problems seriously. Don't make a partner's untreated problems your lifetime career. A romantic partner can be supportive but should not be a live-in therapist.

You can download chapter one for free by going to DrKenner.com, and you can buy The Selfish Path to Romance at Amazon.com.