The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

The conversation explores strategies for finding happiness and fulfillment in life, addressing issues like procrastination, depression, and chronic anxiety. Dr. Andy Bernstein, a philosopher, emphasizes the importance of recognizing opportunities in the world and prioritizing them based on personal values rather than societal duties. He advocates for a value-based approach to career choice, encouraging individuals to follow their passions and monitor their emotions for clues about what excites them. The discussion contrasts a duty-based approach with a value-based one, highlighting that the latter leads to internal liberation and excitement. The segment also touches on the importance of self-care and the balance between personal and societal expectations.

Action Items:

Reflect on what truly excites and fulfills you, rather than what others expect you to do.
Prioritize the things that are most important to you and use your time to pursue those things.
Consider pursuing a career or educational path that aligns with your personal values and interests, rather than just what is expected of you.
Outline: Starting a New Job and Self-Care Unknown Speaker mentions a book available for download at DrKenner.com and Amazon.com. Speaker 1 informs that Mitch at the diner said the new job can start on Thursday without any issues. Unknown Speaker admits struggling with self-care and acknowledges that it gets easier with practice. Speaker 2 introduces the segment's topic: how to make the most of life for procrastinators, the depressed, or those with chronic anxiety. Speaker 2 introduces Dr. Andy Bernstein, highlighting his credentials and works.

Finding Purpose and Overcoming Procrastination: Speaker 2 shares a personal story about feeling life stagnation after college and finding inspiration in Ayn Rand's work. Speaker 2 asks Dr. Bernstein about what keeps people stuck and why they procrastinate. Dr. Bernstein believes people make a critical error by focusing on their psychological problems rather than opportunities in the world. Dr. Bernstein emphasizes that the world is filled with exciting opportunities in education, career, love, hobbies, and travel. Dr. Bernstein shares his own priorities and the importance of prioritizing based on personal importance.

Balancing Responsibilities and Personal Fulfillment: Speaker 2 discusses the challenge of finding a career one loves and the pressure to meet societal expectations. Dr. Bernstein interrupts to address financial responsibilities, allowing a brief ad for "The Selfish Path to Romance." Dr. Bernstein stresses the importance of psychological liberation and the right to be selfish in choosing a career. He advises asking oneself what one loves and using emotions as clues to find a fulfilling career. Dr. Bernstein compares the process of choosing a career to falling in love, emphasizing the importance of personal happiness.

Value-Based Approach vs. Duty-Based Approach: Speaker 2 contrasts two methods of approaching career choice: feeling duty-bound versus finding what one loves. Dr. Bernstein explains the difference between a duty approach and a value approach in philosophy. He emphasizes that a duty approach leads to drudgery, while a value approach is exciting and liberating. Dr. Bernstein reiterates the importance of personal values and the right to find what one loves. Speaker 2 summarizes Dr. Bernstein's points, highlighting the importance of a value approach and monitoring emotions for career guidance.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts: Speaker 2 thanks Dr. Bernstein for his insights and encourages listeners to attend his talks. Unknown Speaker directs listeners to DrKenner.com for more podcasts. Speaker 5 introduces an excerpt from "The Selfish Path to Romance" by Dr. Ellen Kenner and Dr. Edwin Locke. The excerpt discusses the importance of looks in a relationship and the impact of chronic neglect on physical attractiveness. Speaker 5 provides information on how to download chapter one for free and purchase the book on Amazon.com.

This phenomena has its limits, however, it will not overcome the effects of a partner's chronic neglect of his or her looks. Almost anyone would be turned off by a partner who is grossly overweight or has deliberately unkempt hair or greasy, ungroomed beard, or who dresses like a slop.

Keywords: procrastination issues, chronic anxiety, career motivation, psychological problems, prioritizing time, personal values, emotional clues, duty approach, value approach, self-liberation, career excitement, romantic guidebook, relationship advice, personal happiness, goal setting

The Selfish path to romance: Download chapter one for free at DrKenner.com and Amazon.com.
I spoke to Mitch at the diner. He said you can start on Thursday. He won't give you a hard time.

"I'm not great at taking care of myself." "It gets easier. Takes practice."

During this segment, we are going to talk about how to make the most of your life, if you're a procrastinator or if you're feeling depressed, or if you're feeling like you have chronic anxiety and your life is just stuck. How do you change that? And with me to discuss this is one of my favorite people, Dr. Andy Bernstein. He has his PhD in philosophy. He taught at Pace University and is teaching at other colleges. He's given addresses at Harvard, Stanford, RPI, and many other schools. He's the author of countless articles, several Cliff Notes on Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, Anthem by Ayn Rand, and a novel The Heart of the Pagan. Today we're going to talk about your happiness. How can you make the most of your happiness? Andy, welcome.

"Good to be here."

Dr. Kenner: "Oh, as always, it's wonderful to have you on. I can remember after I got out of college, my life seemed to just stagnate. Now that's when your life is supposed to take off. But I tried needle pointing, I knit socks, I made curtains, and that was really fun, but it was just felt like it was a dead end for myself. Then I heard Ayn Rand on Donahue, and I read her books, and I said, 'Oh my God, there's a better way to lead my life.' It can really be my own. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to go about it, but I knew I wanted a life. I knew that there was a part of me inside that just wanted to bloom. I'm wondering, what do you notice that keeps people stuck? Why do they procrastinate? They don't set dreams or goals for themselves?"

Dr. Bernstein: "Well, I think they're making a critical error. I don't know if they're looking out at the world to see what's actually there and the opportunities that are there. I think that they're mired in their own psychological problems. But if they were able to look honestly out at the world, they would see that the world is filled with great things and with exciting opportunities in terms of education, career, love, hobbies, travel, and a number of things. I think we restrict ourselves, and it's not by the lack of thrilling chances out there, but simply by the lack of time. For instance, I'm writing several books right now, and I have many ideas on articles I could write, on other books I could write. I'd love to go back to grad school and study literature this time, not philosophy. I'd love to get a PhD, maybe in literature, and get a black belt in karate or the martial arts. It's not a lack of chances or opportunities that's holding me back. It's simply a lack of time. And if we could live to be as old as Methuselah—969—we could do all these things. But in limited time, we have to prioritize. And I would tell people they need to prioritize the things that are most important to them and then use their time to pursue those things in order of their importance to them. They need to realize how many chances there are in the world for them to do thrilling things."

Dr. Kenner: "A lot of people say, 'Yeah, that's okay for you, but that's not okay for me. You just don't understand. I feel like I should have a job, I should have hobbies, I should have good things in life, and it's such a duty.' How do you find a career that you love? I mean, I have to do it, but I don't know where to begin."

Dr. Bernstein: "Well, one of the things, aside from just looking at the world and finding the opportunities that are out there, is the most important issue here is—"

"I gotta interrupt this, because we've got to pay some bills. 30 seconds, that's it. A very quick ad, and then Ellen will be back."

Romance. "Oh, I wish guys knew more about what we want from a relationship. Boy, I wish I knew more about what I want. Where's that ad I saw? Ah, here it is, The Selfish Path to Romance, a serious romance guidebook. Download chapter one for free at SelfishRomance.com and buy it at Amazon.com."

Dr. Bernstein: "The most important issue here is to realize the opportunity for psychological liberation. We're talking about your right to be purely 100% selfish. Just ask yourself, 'What do I love? Not what satisfies my family, or what does the president think I ought to do, or what does the church say on this? But what does society want?' Just ask yourself the question, very honestly, 'What do I love? What do I want out of life? What thrills me?' And here's where you can use your emotions as a clue because they will tell you what excites you, whether it's in education, computer science, business, law, or teaching. What excites you? It's the same process as when you fall in love. If you've ever been in love with anybody, you know, this is the person who turns me on, this is the person I'm really attracted to, this is the work I want to spend time with. Ultimately, this is the person I want to make love to. It's the same thing with choosing a major in college or a career. You use your emotions as clues. It's about being purely dedicated to self and your own happiness. It's very internally liberating once you realize that."

Dr. Kenner: "So it's not just going by blind emotions. It's not like, you know, how people say, 'Well, you have to go by your heart, not by your head.' And there is no dichotomy there."

Dr. Bernstein: "No, there's no dichotomy at all. Your emotions are clues. And if you find yourself turned on by the life of a drug dealer or a bank robber, you know you're making a mistake. You want a career where you're honestly productive, that leads to success, not to self-destruction or incarceration. You find a productive career where you're creating goods and services that human life depends on."

Dr. Kenner: "Okay, when I'm sitting in bed, as you advise, and I ask myself privately, 'What do I want to do?' I want to give two different examples, two methods of approach, and see what the difference is between them. One of them is, 'Oh God, I've got to find a career. Dad wants me to find a career. I know I have to have a career. This is so heavy, this is so boring. I don't know what I want to do.' Okay, that's take one. Take two is, 'Oh my gosh. What would I love doing? Let me think of things that other people love doing. I don’t like what Aunt Tilda does, but I've always loved what my cousin's doing. He's an author, he writes books, maybe I'll look into that more. That might be fun. Maybe I'd like landscape architecture. That's another possible career.' What's the difference in thinking between those two?"

Dr. Bernstein: "Well, in technical terms of philosophy, the difference between a duty approach and a value approach. The first one is, 'Other people want me to do this, and I'm doing it just to satisfy them.' There's no excitement in that, only drudgery. But the second approach is about personal values. It's what I want. It's about recognizing that I have the right to find the things that I love, and then it becomes very exciting. You're liberated internally to find the things you want, not what others want."

Dr. Kenner: "So what I'm hearing in this is two different points that you're making. One is that you want to have a value approach toward your own life. If you hear the language of 'duty, should, must, have to,' stop. You're not going to get anywhere that way. The other point is to really love your life. And if you don't know what you want, monitor your emotions when you get excited about something. If there's something you don't enjoy, monitor that as well."

Dr. Bernstein: "Exactly."

Dr. Kenner: "Thank you so much for joining us today, Andy. It's always wonderful."

For more Dr. Kenner podcasts, go to DrKenner.com.

Here's an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance, the serious romance guidebook by clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kenner and co-author Dr. Edwin Locke, who's world famous for his theories in goal setting:

"An interesting romantic phenomenon often occurs regarding looks. When you ardently love your partner’s soul, your partner seems more physically beautiful to you. This phenomenon has its limits, however, and will not overcome the effects of a partner’s chronic neglect of his or her looks. Almost anyone would be turned off by a partner who is grossly overweight, has deliberately unkempt hair, a greasy, ungroomed beard, or who dresses like a slob."

You can download chapter one for free at DrKenner.com, and you can buy The Selfish Path to Romance at Amazon.com.