The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

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Depressing Thoughts

I need help getting over my depression.

(this is raw unedited text, computer transcribed directly from the audio)

Helen, you're dealing with some depression and you want some ways to work with it.


Tell me, what emotion, what's going on in your life recently?

I have been suffering bipolar.

For how long?

I'm gonna go for the last four or five years.

Last Five Years?


How old are you?

I'm 71, 71.

Good for you for calling.

Well, yes. Yeah. Listen, okay. I do get my medication. Yes. And I do have my psychiatrist who was very negative about my depression. Anyway, he's, he's depressed about your depression. Well, no, he's

just very negative. Okay, that's what that mean. Right? They

need a doctor change. What's going on with your doc?

Yeah, I That's it. I think I'm gonna have to do.

Oh, tell me when you say very negative then then I'll shut up. What do you mean? very negative way.

It's like, Oh, hello. What did you say? Okay. I was in depression last year, went in, and he started treating me okay. And then when I came back, I said, I'm still not any better. And he said, Well, Helen, don't you know how many 71 year old ladies that are? Much worse than you? You look fine. Well, that is not, you know, to look fine. That's, that's not the solution is how the person feels.

Yes, that's exactly right. So I hope you corrected him. So tell me now I'll be quiet. And you can tell me what the essence is what your question is.

Okay. My question is, I can tell that I'm back into depression again. Okay. And I'm doing the sleeping and you know, kind of like the nausea feeling. Is there anything that you because you've dealt with depression people or that's what yeah. Is there anything that you can show me that maybe I could do for myself? i Yes. I know, get out and talk to people blah, blah, blah. Is there anything that you can suggest that would help me to? I feel I have to write it out?

Okay, you have to write what out?

Oh, you're right out the depression because last year, okay. When I when I got hit last time, it took me about a month to ride it out. And then she doctor I was fine. I was just fine. I just came from my Okay, in January the 17th. I just came from Docker, the one I'm telling you about.

I want to use names, but go ahead.

Okay. I said the doctor, you know, I'm so happy. I've been able to keep the depression at bay. And you know, I left and I was so happy. And sure enough, that was in January. This is April. Sure enough about i Okay, January, I was fine. Just fine after being depression free for about 12 months. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then and then. January, okay, February? No.

When did it come back again?

Okay, I'm gonna go with January, February. Let's go. It started back around the last part.

I don't want to get into too much detail, Helen, because then I don't have time to tell you give you information. So I would, I'm going to take the charge again. And I did hear you say right out the depression. I thought you said, right. So here's what this is my take on depression, okay, that the first thing you want to do, especially at the age of 71, is go to a medical doctor to rule out any physical problems. Because sometimes people will come in massively depressed, I can give them all the wonderful thinking skills, and it turns out to be a thyroid problem. Okay? So you just want to make sure that your doctor gives you a clean bill of health medically and that it's not a simple fix with thyroid medication or somesuch. Okay, once you get a clean bill of health, if it's your mood, if it's something that then that's very good news, because depression is not something that you have for life. It's not a biochemical thing, if it's a psychological depression, with cognitive therapy is a mouthful, but the cognitive therapy, it that taught that type of therapy talk therapy gives you thinking skills, depression, the minute someone comes to me Helen and says they're feeling depressed. I think of loss. What's going through your mind I want to know not the things you say to people but what your thinking is that makes you want to climb into bed and sleep or that makes you feel a little nauseous. What is your thinking? Give me one or two thoughts that you have that are stinking thoughts.

Okay. Right right now, okay. Okay. Let me try to do this fast. Let me try to do okay. Okay, how dare you gotta have a panic attack.

Want to be? Oh, I started thinking negatively that I'm a loser that my life is not as I didn't I didn't my life is not I didn't choose maybe the right thing. I feel like I'm sad. I I've had problems you know, with my legal separation or you had a legal separation from your from my house. As a matter of fact, I Okay, estranged from my older son, my granddaughters and a daughter in law and my ex.

Okay, you're doing beautifully what you're doing is you're exposing the ideas that generate depressive thoughts, right? And so each one of those ideas, if you were in therapy you would take I'm a loser. And if I would say to you, can you think of someone who's a real loser in life? What's who's the worst loser you can think of?

Well, as far as you mean, at face value, a real loser at life that everyone would agree this person is a loser.

Well, I really can't say.

Oh, think politically, who is a real loser? Think dictators. Okay, dictators,
dictators, a real loser. Are you a dictator? Oh, me? No. Okay, it starts to put, what you would do is you would see that there is a range of losers. And the My guess is that even though you let yourself down in some areas in your life, you didn't do it across the board. And my God, if you just if you shift your focus to all the things that you could have would have wished you had done. It drags all of us down when we do that. If you focus on the thoughts you had in January, when you were feeling fine. Yeah, I was just great. I want to recapture those thoughts. But just like I asked you now tell I know, we're right at the end of time here some end abruptly. But just as I told you now to think of the negative thoughts, you would want to think of the positive thoughts, go to my website, And get a book mind over mood, that's mind over mood, okay. And it's a fabulous workbook. And that will help you figure out how to, to understand your own thinking, and to put your life on a better track - mind over mood.

For more Dr. Kinder podcast, go to Dr. And please listen to this ad.

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