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Why is this web site and radio show titled The RATIONAL Basis of Happiness? |
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I wanted to emphasize the fact that happiness is not just a matter of accident (of having been born with the right disposition or genes), nor is it the domain of mystical incantations or prayers or of alcohol or drugs. Happiness is also not the result of winning the lottery or being the hit of the party. Happiness is the result of having the proper self-respecting attitude towards your life, towards other people and towards your future, and acting accordingly. What is the proper self-respecting attitude towards your life? It is the attitude that it is your life, that achieving your rational goals is important and that making healthy decisions to build yourself into a person that you admire is essential. Since we are not born with skills of how to guide our life, how to make difficult choices, how to deal with our parents, how to raise our children, or how to have a healthy romantic relationship, we need to acquire skills. You can't take a pill that will give you parenting skills, romance skills or communication skills. Most of us just flounder in these areas. We do whatever our parents did, with some adjustments, and we say ``Okay, I'm doing everything I can, and it's not working – I'm filled with self-doubt and I'm not happy." What's the solution? You can gain the thinking skills that will help you achieve a healthy romantic relationship, good relations with your children, and the ability to speak assertively in all situations. You can even learn skills to break out of a bad mood, such as depression or anxiety. You need skills, not pills. Value your life enough to say ``Hey, I'm not staying in this situation. I'm lonely or I'm angry or I'm depressed, or I'm confused and I'm going to do something about it today! I'm going to get some help". These skills are bound together with one main idea - you want to learn to use your mind well, and by that I mean to think clearly and logically. You want your emotions to follow from your healthy, undistorted thinking. That is why I use the term ``rational" to describe happiness. There is nothing like irrational ``happiness", e.g., the dumb stupor of a drunk or the dogmatic acceptance of someone else's formula for happiness, that can foul up your day …and your life. Your happiness is the result of your clear thinking, your self respecting attitude, your setting and pursuing (and hopefully achieving) your rational values. It's something you can achieve with the proper skills and thinking methods and it's well worth the effort. |
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Does any of the preceding describe you or a family member, friend or co-worker? Call Dr. Kenner toll-free during her radio show and discuss these issues. Call her any Saturday from 11am-noon eastern time, toll-free at 877-Dr-Kenner |
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The RATIONAL Basis of Happiness® |
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