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Not merely a parenting book, this is a delightful treasure chest of tips of how to communicate with anyone.

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Do you remember how supportive and understanding your parents were during your teenage years? Do you recall how you could confide in them, how they trusted your judgment and how appreciative they were of your help?
     For most, the answer is simple—“no!”
     Flash forward: Would your own teenagers consider you loving and understanding? Do they confide in you? Do they feel trusted and appreciated by you? And…do you feel loved, understood, trusted and appreciated by your teens?
     What gets in the way in the way of “yes” answers to these questions? In this book Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish explore the teenage years and help parents and teens get closer to “yes” answers. They show what goes wrong (e.g., blaming, name-calling, lecturing, playing martyr) and help both parents and teens develop an attitude of earned respect and appreciation for one another.  Impossible? Think again—open the pages and hear the stories of parents who have just about given up on their teens—whether it’s dealing with sassing, homework, chores, hanging with the “wrong crowd” …sexual promiscuity, binge drinking, “experimenting with pot” or discovering that your daughter has plans to meet a strange man she’s been hooking up with on the internet— watch how the right attitude and skills dramatically improve life at home.
Enjoy this quick read that so effectively helps you achieve what you might have written off as impossible—a loving relationship with your teens.

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It's not often that I read a book cover to cover and come away saying  that I can recommend this without commenting that  there are some parts I don't agree with. I really loved this book. She keeps the focus on your long range happiness.
"I hate life sometimes. I should have been able to see my sisters. I get real angry at my mom and dad. Sometimes I'm mad at the whole world." Divorce often leaves children in a path of devastation. Some children feel the chronic need, well into their adult lives, to try to please both parents, or to show pressured allegiance to one parent and shun the other. Some children have indelible memories of horrific fights and arguments prior to and after their parents divorce. Such children may promise themselves that they will never get married - it involves too much suffering. Some children are convinced that they are the hidden cause of their parent's divorce. Feelings of abandonment, fear, hurt and guilt become the norm. It's common for children to repeat the traumas of their childhood or to withdraw into a repressed silence, cutting themselves off from the pleasures of life. But much of this pain can be avoided, and everyone benefits. How? Dr. Bienenfeld lets you first hear from the children themselves. She then outlines a step-by-step method to help parents grasp the pain that their children are in and to help parents separate their own hostilities and financial battles from parenting issues. Although the parents are no longer marital partners, they will remain parent-partners for life. Given this, she outlines a method for helping them communicate clearly and fairly on all issues involving the children.

He offers an easy-to-read question and answer format.

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This is a comprehensive book covering divorce to remarriage.

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My pages are falling out of this book. Why? Because I have used it so many times with children. I highly recommend it for your children if you’re going through a divorce. Divorce is messy enough. But there are things that make it mentally agonizing for children. One of them is guilt--more specifically unearned guilt. Kids are at risk of thinking that it’s their fault when their parents divorce: I didn’t clean my room and dad and mom would fight over that. I yelled at my dad and that’s why he left.” ...
The first frame of this cartoon-like illustrated book has mom and dad sitting in overstuffed chairs, each with stern, furrowed brows and not engaged with each other. Dad is reading “Tyrannosaurus Daily Times” and mother is reading “Stegos in Paradise”--her book is upside down showing that her mind is elsewhere. The little dinosaur girl, with wide eyes, has her hands up in the air in total confusion. The caption reads: Divorce takes place between mothers and fathers. You are not to blame if your parents get divorced. Many a child and I have sat in therapy talking just about this one frame-- and it helped relieve them of some heavy unearned guilt. That’s damage control.
The next few frames illustrate how parents fight differently. Some have violent, noisy battles; others use the silent treatment and worse, some fight with kids when they are really angry with each other! This gives kids some well-needed psychological insight. Turn the page and you get the question: What about you? When your parents divorce, it’s natural to feel: sad, angry, afraid, confused, ashamed, guilty, relieved, worried about who will take care of you. Children often spend a lot of time on this page with each emotion, expressing what feelings they are having and the thoughts underlying them. The authors assure children that the bad feelings won’t last forever, and there is plenty they can do to help themselves feel better.
This short illustrated book covers so much:

• Longings that your parents will reconnect that often go unfulfilled.
  
• Telling friends that your parents are divorcing.
  
• Ways you can make living with one parent go smoother.
  
• Living in two homes: Focusing on the positive and recognizing that mom and dad may have different rules.
  
• Celebrating holidays and special occasions.
  
• Eventually meeting your parents new “friends.”
  
• Living with stepparents and possibly step-siblings.

The authors treat children with great empathy, as individuals capable of being responsible and making the major changes in their lives easier for themselves (and for their parents). They treat kids with respect. One suggestion: This is not a book to rush through if you are reading it with your child. It’s helpful to pause with them, if they are willing, and let them respond to the colorful cartoon frames that touch important issues in their young lives. Let them express themselves--and you may find that your loving attention and willingness to hear them goes a long way to making life a tad easier for you and your kids.

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"Many teenagers have an inner radar that detects what irritates their parents. If we value neatness our teenager will be sloppy, his room messy, his clothes repulsive, and his hair unkempt and long..." How do you make your years with your teenager not just tolerable, but enjoyable? What typical mistakes do parents make and what are  the alternative civilized ways to raise your teenagers? Although dated, I owe much of my joyful years with my teenagers to Dr. Ginott's timeless advice.

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Why some kids get into trouble - and what parents can do about it.

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